I understand situations like the one you describe are very frustrating. In short, you are the customer and you hired the lender so they should be responsive to your questions and concerns. The lender works for you and not the other way around. You should never feel like you are bothering your lender because you want an update on your mortgage process. Consistent, clear and timely communication is a matter of good customer service. The mortgage process can be very stressful and it is important to stay updated. If your lender is not providing good customer service or failing to deliver on their promises, you can cancel the loan and switch lenders any time before you sign loan documents, which is typically a couple of days before your mortgage is scheduled to close.
With that in mind, there are several reasons why a lender "goes silent" during the mortgage process. Sometimes this happens because the loan officer has submitted your loan application to underwriting and it can take several days or several weeks for the underwriter to process your loan, depending on the type of loan, how busy the lender is and the complexity of your application. The loan officer may feel like there is nothing to update you on until the underwriting process is complete so you may not hear back from them. I am not saying that is the right way to communicate but it is one possible reason, especially if your loan officer is very busy and more focused on generated new mortgages than maintaining existing relationships.
Another possible reason why a lender "goes quiet" is if there is an issue with your loan, such as a concern raised by underwriting that your loan officer was unaware of. Some loan officers are less skilled at qualifying borrowers up-front and become unresponsive if a qualification or eligibility issue arises when a loan is processed. This is an unfortunate outcome but I have seen it many times. Most borrowers would prefer that lenders communicate information directly even if it is not a positive message but unfortunately this is not always the case.
My recommendation is that you contact your loan officer immediately and politely demand an explanation and request more frequent communication going forward. If your loan officer is not responsive, contact her supervisor and communicate your concerns. It is your right to know what is going on with your loan and always remember: you are the customer. If you are not satisfied with the explanation or the level of customer service you receive then you should consider canceling the loan and switching lenders, which again you can do any time prior to singing your loan documents.
If you decide to switch lenders, we always recommend that you contact multiple lenders to understand how they would handle your unique situation. You can compare lenders in your area by clicking INTEREST RATES We advise you to contact at least four lenders as qualification requirements can vary. Plus, comparing lenders is the best way to save money on your mortgage.